To Iyanla Vanzant and Oprah: Gambling Addiction is no Laughing Matter

In a 2012 episode of Oprah’s Lifeclass show, Oprah told her audience that her producers had received a letter from a woman in the United Kingdom, Shelly-Ann (not her real name), about her addiction to online gambling that would likely cause the end of her marriage.

Married for only a year, Shelly-Ann informed Oprah, her co-host Iyanla Vanzant, and the show’s studio and tv audiences via phone interview that she had gambled away more than  50,000 British pounds (about $53, 500 in today’s U.S. currency), the money her husband was saving for a down payment on a new home. Seven months pregnant and under bed rest, she didn’t know how to tell her husband what she’d done.

Obviously in deep distress, Shelly-Ann had reached out to the Oprah show for advice on how to deal with the consequences of her actions, including the likelihood of her marriage ending. After Oprah read Shelly-Ann’s letter, which concluded with her saying that she didn’t have a clue to how to repair the damage she had done, Iyanla said “Me either, girl.”

What happened next stunned me. I watched in disbelief as first Iyanla and then Oprah broke out into out into bout of raucous laughter. After their laughter subsided enough for them to talk, Iyanla who clearly has no experience dealing with anyone with a gambling addiction, went on to tell Shelly-Ann that her “baby is marinating in a toxic womb, a womb filled of fear and shame, and that’s what’s being fed, woven into the fiber of that child’s being” and other such nonsense, with Oprah agreeing with her. Here is the video.

Although they finally got around to giving Shelly-Ann advice, such as it was, I couldn’t help but wonder as I watched the video, “Where is the empathy? The compassion?  I also wondered, “What if that had been me? Or Gladys Knight, who struggled with a gambling addiction for years? Would they have laughed like that at us too?

I confess that I’ve never liked Iyanla Vanzant. I don’t think her way of dealing with people in crisis is helpful, and certainly not for a woman seeking help for a gambling addiction. As someone who also experienced a near devastating gambling addiction, I felt that Sherry-Ann didn’t deserve this kind of judgemental and condescending treatment. I wished she had just ended her call.

It hurts me to watch this show, which I’ve had to do a few times to write this post. Iyanla and Oprah’s behavior probably did more damage than good in terms of encouraging other women to reach out for help with their gambling problems before they destroy their lives and those of their loved ones. And that makes me very sad.

Me and Megyn Kelly

It’s been two weeks since I appeared as a guest on “NBC Megyn Kelly Today. Since then I’ve received a steady stream of emails from women around the country expressing their gratitude for allowing myself  to be interviewed on national television about my experience with gambling addiction.

When I was first contacted early in February by a producer inviting me to be on the show, I had to ask myself what I often ask about other people who go on national tv to talk about their problems. Why do they do it? Why would I do it? For what purpose? What do I hope to achieve? It certainly wasn’t to sell books, although Megyn Kelly promoted my memoir, Confessions of a Slot Machine Queen.

Unless you’re on Oprah, being on tv might generate a few sales, but certainly not enough to significantly boost your bank account. My goal in accepting the invitation was to bring national awareness, at least for the few minutes I was on the show, to how slot machine gambling is negatively affecting the lives of millions of people, especially African American women.

The fact that I’m now receiving personal messages from women from around the country who tell me that they’ve never discussed their problem with gambling with anyone is enough for me to feel that this was all worthwhile.

I’m regularly asked about Megyn Kelly. What was she like? My response is that she was friendly, smart, and inviting. She greeted me right before I came onto the set. I was immediately put at ease. I was surprised by the size of the studio and the large audience, about 200 people. But once Megyn and I settled down in our chairs, it felt like any other casual conversation with an interesting colleague or acquaintance.

Sandra Adell, Author, Confessions of a Slot Machine Queen: A Memoir

(Un)Happy New Year, Alicia Denice Brown!

For those of you who’ve made a New Year’s resolution to stop gambling, perhaps the arrest on New Year’s Eve of Alicia Denice Brown will be an incentive to stick by that resolution and get help doing so if you feel you need it.

According to authorities, Alicia left her four-year old daughter in her SUV for more than eight hours while she gambled in the Maryland Live! Casino in Hanover, Maryland.

There have been many reported incidents of people leaving their children in their vehicles while they went gambling. And each time, the public is outraged, as we should be. But it’s important to remember that this would not be happening if casinos weren’t overpopulating our landscape.

This in no way excuses Alicia Denice Brown’s behavior. What she did deserves to be punished. For now, her daughter has been placed in the custody of a responsible relative. She was arrested and released on bail.  That she is African American might be a wake-up call to the black community and other communities of color to rally against the continuing expansion of casino and internet gambling. As I’ve said again and again, casino gambling is not a victimless form of entertainment. It is turning otherwise responsible people into gambling addicts.

I hope Alicia gets the help she needs. Unless she is just an evil person who does not care about her child, she can put this behind her, but she will need to face the fact that her behavior is probably symptomatic of how seriously she is addicted to gambling.

Sandra Adell, Author, CONFESSIONS OF A SLOT MACHINE QUEEN: A MEMOIR.